Friday, May 31, 2013

Is it October Yet? AKA: When Do The Back To School Sales Start?

So, I had the absolute privilege, and utter joy of reading this amazing blog, that pretty much described, to a TEE, my life as a mom of a school aged child, for the last four weeks or so of the school year. It was pretty amazing. Funny, most definitely. But beyond that, there was an amazing level of truth, that most mom's will never admit to. Who wants to be known as that mom that isn't perfect. To a Stepford level of perfect. Afterall, isn't that what we're suppose to strive for? I -DO- know a mom or two like this. Parenting, now that they're almost done with the whole 'raising' part of it, has taken on that notorious rose colored, nostalgic, afterglow that seems to come with the whole, "Aaah, we're almost done." They suddenly remember, with fondness, that time Jr. 'asserted himself with respect in the middle of the grocery store'. (I.E: What other parents call a full blown temper tantrum.) or how they displayed their God-given talent by painting on their bedroom wall. (With poop.) Yeah.. funny how becoming a parent of a grown child messes with the memory like that. It's about as annoying as these same people telling us, "Enjoy every minute, they grow up so fast." No. No I won't ENJOY cleaning up poop, or a public tantrum. Not every moment of parenting is a Joy.

But I digress...Go ahead and take a peek. I'll wait.......

Pretty awesome, yeah?

 The point (today) is... TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL....
and I'm not afraid to admit... I'm terrified. Because unlike the stepfords who cry about how happy they are about this event, none of them must face the coming battle that is bound to ensue on Monday. The dreaded....

Change In Routine

Yeah.. this pretty much sums it up right now.

Now, this isn't to say that we won't have some great moments, make some even greater memories, and have loads of fun. But seriously, who can smile for 90 straight days, while sitting in 95 degree weather with 99% humidity, at the splash pad park, and respond with complete and utter joy to the 836 billionth "Look at me, Mom!"?? If you can, Kudos. This page, and this post, isn't for you. "Super moms who do everything perfect" is three blogs down. I'm talking about REAL women. REAL men. Who have limits. Who require respite. Who are honest with themselves and realize, that the time spent away at school, is about the only breather we get sometimes. And on this last day of school, the only REAL thought coursing through our panicking minds is, "What the hell am I going to do on Monday!?"
Yeah, I use this photo a lot these days to attempt to convey just how overloaded and thinly spread I am. Sadly, it doesn't seem to get the message across to a lot of people. 
So, of course, I couldn't ask that my child sleep until the alarm clock go off. He hasn't since last Oct. What made me think he would today? But in my chronic state of perpetual hope (that's what's I'm calling my state of delusion today...) I continue to tell myself, "Maybe tomorrow." I swear the last thing I hear before the boys nod off is giggling. Always giggling. Anyway.. 

Yes, there will be many trips to the splash pad park. And to the nature trails. And to any other place in town we can think of to get them out of the house, to burn off some excess energy, and give Mom and/or Dad some time away from our chaotic little cave.  But let's face it. It's a small town we live in. And the activities around here... well, they're in a small town. 

Not OUR small town... but pretty darn close.
And here we are. 6:30 in the morning. The alarm clock STILL hasn't gone off, since, it's not set to for another 45 minutes. BOTH of the boys are up, and incredibly... awake. Clifford the Big Red Dog is on the TV, and Malcolm is seemingly oblivious to the fact that today, is the last day of his established routine, and what little peace we had in our little cave. Monday, he will get up at the butt-crack of down, as usual, and demand "I need my PBS Kids dot org!" and look for the pile of clothes he is supposed to put on for the day. And when he doesn't find them, because quite frankly, I'm not opposed to a lazy day in our jammies, He's going to be mad. But the nuclear fallout will occur when, at 8:50, the bus doesn't arrive. That will be about the time I decide that a summer-time, alcoholic glutton doesn't seem like all that bad a career path. 

I could think of worse things to take the edge off!
So, at a quarter to 7 in the morning, and I'm already attempting to make a game plan for this afternoon. For 3:31pm, to be precise. I'm pretty sure, my first course of action will be:

Even Ned Stark was afraid of summer. Afterall, he is a Winter!
Pretty accurate.
After that.. who the hell knows? Begin a slow and methodical countdown until Oct. 12 sounds like a good plan. Write a song about it, perhaps. Start a petition, and a public campaign to implement a year round school program, at least for those of us who have routine depend kiddos? I don't suppose earbuds, LOUD Glee music and World of Warcraft would be considered 'good parenting'. That really is a bummer. ;) I suppose I will have to entertain myself, at least during their waking hours with daydreams of Oct. 12. It will have to suffice. But damn... won't that party be epic!!!

And on Oct 12, I WILL have my husband take a photo of me and Malcolm waiting for the school bus. 

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