Yeah, it's been a while since I've posted anything, and I'm sure those of you who are keeping up, are wondering just what is going on.

In a nutshell.. not a whole of lot of ANYTHING. I'm either too tired, or too sick to even THINK about doing much. So tired, and SOOOO sick in fact, that I've actually lost 9 pounds since testing positive! ::Yikes::

So, a small update, while I've not actually had but a couple bouts of morning sickness, I'm so nauseous, ALL of the time, that 75% of the time, I can't even physically force myself to eat. It's almost as if there is some invisible restraint, holding my hand just out of reach of my mouth. The smell, the look, the taste of MOST foods is just revolting to me right now. And yet, my stomach grumbles and roars in protest, because I'm SO hungry! ::gah!!!:: My two complaints? (I know, "Only TWO!?")

1) THIS SUCKS!!!!
and
2) THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!!!

Malcolm, we believe, has officially transitioned himself into the depths of "Terrible Two", and we've thought seriously about the effects of putting him up for auction on E-Bay. Well, not really... but.. sort of. LOL With his not speaking, he get's incredibly frustrated when things don't go 'as planned'. Of course, we, his parents, are not always privy to WHAT this plan is, since he won't (and I say won't, because we KNOW he understands language, he just for some reason, REFUSES to use it!) tell us what the plan is. Or even if we're in the same vicinity of the same page as he is. All we know is whether we've succeeded in overwhelmingly making him happy... or thoroughly pissing him off. He either giggles with glee... or grunts, and huffs, and throws his toys. Usually at ME. ::Grrrr::

That said, his physical therapy seems to be going very well. He's really starting to warm up to both of his therapists, especially Tess. She's working with the Occupational therapy, teaching him how to play properly, desensitizing him to different textures, temperatures, touches and other such things. Kristy, his Developmental therapist, is working with catching him up. Helping him with his independence, (such as self feeding, using a cup, instead of a bottle) and some communication - words WITH signs. He's a bit more resistant to Kristy, we think, because she's slowly changing the 'norm' for him. "Oh, that woman doesn't want me to use MY bottle." or "What do you mean I can't just grunt and get my toy?! What is this... 'Tell me' crap you're trying to pull!?" LOL One thing we HAVE learned, is that this 17 month old little boy has a head harder than any mule I've EVER seen. The 'wait him out' trial is NOT a very feasible option, at least not for now. He will literally sit and cry, and scream, and carry on for HOURS.. not just one or two... like, six, seven... and MORE... until all of us are so frazzled, and Matthew and I are so upset about him not eating, or taking his nap, that we're finally just...Give 'it' to him. Whatever 'it' happens to be the moment. So, we definitely need to find a new approach to transitioning him from one thing to another. In his whole life, he has NEVER let himself cry himself out. He keeps himself going, and going....and going. I've never seen a child with his stamina. LOL

Regardless of this one little hitch, he's actually doing very well. Thriving. He LOVES to play and sing and hum and laugh. In fact, I'm convinced that if he would just open his mouth, while humming, actual words would come out. LOL! He seems to hum LOTS of 'responses'. If you ask him something, or tell him something, or just kind of babble along with him, he 'hums' in response. Not sing-songy, but like, "MmmHmm" sort of hums, without the 'H'.

He's such a sweet and loving little boy too. LOVES to give "Big Hugs", or play "Squeeeeeeze the Malcolm!" (which entails giving him Big squeeze hugs. lol) He also LOVES to do 'death drops' and 'toss ups' with daddy. The more 'death defying' the better it seems! I think we're going to have a bungy-jumping, sky diving fanatic on our hands!! The faster you 'drop' him, or the higher you throw him, the MORE he squeels, and laughs. And he thinks he's so cool too! He LOVES playing 'Keep away' with anything from his toes, to his blanket. If you say, "I'm gonna get..." He doesn't even let you finish. EVERYTHING get's moved away! LOL. He's so funny.

And the faces! OMG, he's a goof. He's learned how to work his eyebrows, so the array of faces he now practices is nothing short of hilarious! Mad faces, silly faces, happy faces, sad faces. He does them all, with such flair and passion, that you can not help but be drawn into them, and actually find yourself mimicking his faces back at him. (I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. LOL)

Well. I've once again, talked all of your ears numbs, so for now, I'll leave you with some pictures from Halloween!

Until next time!

And it starts...

So, I'm probably just overly hormonal today, on top of being utterly exhausted, but dammit... I think I'm entitled every now and again to have a "bitch attack".

I'm 95% certain the note Matthew left for me was just a 'good morning, this is what happened when I woke up' note, but for some reason it came across as, "good morning, now get off your ass and do something." Of course, as I said, I was set off before I even opened my eyes.

Malcolm's into EVERYTHING today, getting himself stuck wherever he an find a place to get stuck in, and Milo... well, let's just say Milo's about to become a small rug... Effing cat!

I'm battling nausea, that won't quite get bad enough to actually make me throw up, and yet, right now, that's all I really want to do, because I know it will make me feel better. My head and nose are so stuffed, I feel like some little malicious imp stuffed 25 pounds of raw cotton in my sinuses. I'm hungry. My stomach is rumbling, but everything in the kitchen right now, makes me gag, and I can't physically force myself to even look at that crap right now, let alone actually put it in my mouth.

My head is pounding, and I know it's because I've cut back on caffeine, and at this particular moment in time, I don't rightly give a rats ass WHAT the experts say. I'm cranky, and I don't feel good. Give me my damn caffeine!

My whole body is just tired. There's no other way to explain it. I don't have the energy or strength to even ATTEMPT to vacuum or do dishes. And amazingly enough, I'm learning, they won't do themselves either. And here I thought, I lived in a magical kingdom where dishes danced through a bubble bath, and broom and mops twirled about until floors sparkled. Snow White can kiss my ever loving white Irish ass. Where can I buy myself some woodland creatures to swoop in and take care of everything I don't feel like doing right now?

On top of everything else, I'm a little irritated with the human race in general. Maybe not so general. Perhaps my irritation is more specific. Like to everyone who decided that my email really wasn't important enough to respond to. To everyone who thought it was appropriate to just sort of write off our excitement as, "whatever" or, "oh, I heard, by the way, can you come over and...", and to those who responded with a ".....again?" You know what you can do with yourselves...

SURPRSE!!!!!!!!!!

Read on! Your eyes have not deceived you!

Yup! You're eyes are NOT deceiving you! And yeppers, the title says it all! This new little bean is Due in June! June 23rd to be exact!! So, according to the calendar, I'm a little over 5 weeks along! Mixed feelings come with finding out so early. I'm excited as all get out, of course, but I also know that it makes for a very long 35 weeks. LOL.

Of course, a million and one dreams and schemes have manifested, all in the course of 24 hours. What will he or she look like? Will it be a "he" or "she"? How will Malcolm be affected? How will our little family change? Of course, none of these compare to the utter sense of joy and completion that has enveloped my heart. Our family will be complete And amazingly enough, Matthew surprised me with his thoughts on names. We were SO adamant that we wouldn't do anymore M's or J's. Well, once again, he's touched my heart with his sensitivity and his own heart. His suggestion...Let's find a J name, so that we'll have two M's and two J's, so that I'm not the odd man out. ::sniffle:: So far, and if we follow 'tradition' this very well could change at the last minute lol, I'm liking Jillian and Jayden. (We all remember 'Benjamin', right? LOLOL) But it's early, and right now, I can say, we have lots of time to figure it out. Of course, I'm sure, this will go go quickly, and before I know it, I'll be in a state of panic. LOL

So, how did I tell Matthew? I think this says it all...





And so, here we again, start another journey into the wonderfully exciting, giddily fantastic, and utterly scary world of Pregnancy! Lucky for Matthew, we have added another two years of scrapbooking and blogging to keep me busy!


Okay, I in order to get you here, without ruining the surprise, I had to deceive you.. a LITTLE bit.. ::grin:: But wasn't it worth it?

Well, since you've all been such good sports about it, I'll throw up (no pun intended...lol) some REAL pictures of our trip to Texas! Hahaha!! Enjoy!

Weight Update!

Another FOUR pounds! I've been slacking the past couple of weeks, with all of the stress and and now the travel I've done, but at least I've moved ahead, and not backwards.. WHEW...

I'm finding my resolve renewed now... When I get home, I'm going to start hitting it HARD.... I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!

Early Weigh in today!

I didn't blog last Friday, and this past week has proven stressful, if nothing else. I'm actually suprised to see the numbers lower this week! Talk about motivation for next week! I CAN say that even through the stress and drama of last week, I was GOOD about what I ate! I even allowed myself to nibble on some KitKat Wed. Night, and I'm STILL down three pounds!

GO ME!

Weekly Weigh-in!

Another pound and a half gone! Yay!! NOW I'm truly motivated! I think my first small term goal will be twenty pounds, and I'm almost half way there! Yipppieee!

What a nice Weekend!

So, Mom came to visit for the weekend. We had a REALLY nice time! Not a lot of time was spent at home, but that's okay. We still had lots of fun!

We went out Saturday, to the Marion National Cemetery so she could go visit her Dad (my Grandfather). Long story short, she never knew him. Didn't even know about him until she was 45. So, seeing his grave for the first time, brought up a lot of emotion for her. She has questions, that of course, will probably never be answered now, with Gram in the midst of Alzheimer's. Of course, if she were well, those questions would probably remain unanswered as well. That's just the way of it. Any question that contains any amount of uncomfortability in it, get's answered with, "I don't know." Oh well. Hopefully, we have enough internet savvy people in the family now that the research can be done without having to go through Gram.

Other than that moment though, we were all smiles. Malcolm, of course, was in RARE form, exploring all of the new faces and sounds he could make with his face. LOL! PRICELESS! I'll post pictures later.

And speaking of pictures. We went, with Mom, to have our pictures taken! They don't come in until the 21st, but I did get a cd. As soon as I'm done creating the pictures I actually wanted, instead of the ones the photographer thought we should have, I'll post some of those too.. Not entirely happy with the finished products. Of course, it wasn't until the next day, when I REALLY got a good look at them, that I realized I wasn't happy with them. Will probably wait until I have the pictures, to call and complain about the session, and our lack of choices.

Well, for now, that's about it. Off to sweat away a few more pounds! Talk to you all later!

1 Week check in!

WOOHOOOOOOOO!

There's 6 pounds less of me today! Talk about an awesome motivator!

See you all next Friday!

It's time to take it off...

No... NOT my clothes. LOL.

I'm tired of looking at m pictures, and trying to figure out how to edit some of this weight off of my arms, under my chin, around my middle. I do NOT like the way I look right now, and I've simply hit that wall. It's now, or never. I'm tired of getting mad because my jeans are tight. Or my shirt doesn't lay right. And I'm especially tired of trying to figure out how the image I have of me, when I look at myself, is so vastly different from the image I have of me when I either look in the mirror, or at a photograph...

So... it's time... I don't want to hate the camera anymore. I don't want to shy away from get togethers and family fun, because I refuse to wear a swimsuit.

So.. here's my goal!!! Of course, I shall keep this updated. And NO, I will not post my beginning weight, until I've lost a good deal of it. When I'm happier with how I feel, and look, then maybe I'll be brave enough to tell you all what I started at. Until then.... We'll just update with photos.



Starting Photo: (Yes, I've tried to find the most unflattering photos.)